IF Toy

Toy for IF
Prismacolor Soft Lead Art Pencils on Strathmore Bristol Smooth 100#
©2011 BEDeuel
For Spooky

Cats, no matter how self-impressed they appear, can revert to kitten-hood in a heartbeat if given the right toy.

My last little girl, Muffin, was with me for 16 of her 18 years. And she was the perfect cranky old lady. She was so cranky, she actually "slapped" our oldest when she talked "cat" at her once. She hated not being an only cat and got her wish her last year on this side of the Universe when she was the last feline resident standing.

But, when the mood hit her, she loved to chase her tail. She'd bounce around, curling about in her effort to nab that pesky critter behind her. Her face would light up, her pupils dilate and she'd look like she was 2 again. It was so wonderful to see her like that.

When it stopped, we knew we were on the bottom half of the hourglass. And, no matter how old they become, or how ill, it's horrible to deal with the anticipation of the loss. And, the loss is still hard to accept. 

But, when I think of my girl, I remember the love and the fun: the fun she had alone and the fun we had with her.

When "Toy" was the Illustration Friday suggestion this week, it took a while for the idea to click. But watching the newest generation of four-footed children wreak havoc nightly finally hit me.

So let's celebrate love of life and toys!



Magical Musical Memories

Of course, I never thought my music would be the core programming on an oldies station. None of us ever do. If my music is considered an “oldie”, then that means, I might be considered-yipes! - an “oldie”, too!



Ice Fog #1
©2011 BE Deuel



I was, oddly, very saddened a couple of weeks ago when Phil Collins, icon of the 1980s music world, announced that he was retiring. Retiring! Rock stars never retire! If he’s old enough to retire, that means, well, that “old” thing could apply to me again! But he is. What I think truly makes me sad, though, is that I have some incredibly wonderful memories connected specifically to Phil and his years leading Genesis. And if he is no longer in the picture, per se, it lessens some of the happiness of those memories. At least, initially, that’s how it feels to me.

And those memories are important. I don’t know about you, but don’t you almost time-travel when you hear the songs from your youth?

The same can be said listening to Phil’s “Man on the Corner”: I can see and hear him performing that piece at the Nassau Coliseum in November, 1981. I’m there and I’m 19 in my heart and mind again. “In the Air Tonight” always conjures a vision of a ’64 Mustang and a recording of the drum riff, about 18 times consecutively, played on the installed tape player. And, my best friend from those days is right there again with me.

Ice Fog #2
©2011 BE Deuel

There are a lot of other memories attached to not only Phil, but to other random artists and songs. When I hear a certain Glenn Miller song (yes, he’s really more my parents’ memory, but we were musically without prejudice), I am transported to a then-earth-shattering first kiss at a friend’s birthday party. The truly intriguing part of this is that I can actually feel the sensations of that moment when I hear that tune. And the last “first kiss” memory can still electrify me when I hear “Thrill Me”.  Whew! Just thinking about that last song gets the current going!

Songs can bring me sad memories, too. But it’s not quite the same. It evokes sadness and, possibly, tears. I just never feel as if I’m back in the moment, though. I’m not sure why; it just is. It might be that happy memories create lightness in the soul that allows the sensations of time-travel to pour through. Sadness drags a heart down, like quicksand can.

But often those sad thoughts turn to thoughts of loved ones past. And that can be wonderful in so many ways, too.

Ice Fog #3
©2011 BE Deuel

Music can be magical. It can revive your heart, keep your thoughts tender, and, best of all, bring a bit of your youth back to you. Isn’t it great? While Phil may not produce any new works now that he’s physically retired, he will never really be gone. Just like memories. Might not remember where I left the keys an hour ago, but I will always remember-and feel- that night at the Coliseum.

Looking everywhere at no one,

He sees everything and nothing at all-

When he shouts, nobody listens;

Where he leads, no one will go.

He's a lonely man, there on the corner.

What he's waiting for, I don't know.

But he waits everyday now,

And he's just waiting for something to show.

Nobody knows him,

and nobody cares,

'Cause there's no hiding place.

There's no hiding place- for you and me.  -Phil Collins

Lend Me Your Ear

“Is it a full moon?”

This was a question that was posed every month. And, we did not have to look at a calendar to know that it was on its way. With the exception of the not-so-jolly Christmas season, anyone who works with large numbers of people can nail the week of the full moon. The reason Christmas doesn’t count is that too many people take on too much and are, well, crabby all season. But the rest of the year, there’s rarely any confusion as to the phases of that old moon.

In case you’ve been completely isolated from the media this last week, we’ve just experienced what has been called a “Super Moon”. The moon was the closest to the earth it had been for a couple of decades and will be for a couple of more. So, knowing how strong an influence the moon normally has during its not-so-super full phase, can you imagine how tense things can become with a “Super Moon”?

What Influences What?
©2010 Grand Canyon #1 by Michael Deuel

For more than a decade, I’d worked in what one might consider a very particularly demanding market. You could tell the moon was waxing to full. Even the calmest of clients could be cranky. Everyone, clients and staff, would become edgy, possibly in anticipation of everyone else being cranky and edgy.

I’ve been somewhat insulated from that situation the last year. I’ve been working a new business so that the traffic has been slow enough to avoid that building tension. And, it’s been in a small town, where, overall, the people are easy-going and not as rushed.  It’s been so very nice, to say the least! Nary a crank! I have been spoiled!

So, though I shouldn’t be, I’ve been surprised to sense a great deal of tension in my life this week.  I know part of it is dealing with quite a few changes again. Part of it is dealing with the same situations over and over again, without resolution. But, is it the “Super Moon”? Or just the “cycle” of living?

I do believe that the moon can affect mood and behavior. I’m not talking werewolves and lunatics being affected. I’m thinking that just as any other force in the universe, there is a physical impact which in turn creates an emotional wave for everyone. This wave can skewer perceptions which can cause serious communication problems between parties.

Force & Spirit
©2010 Blue Skies & Water & a Rainbow by Michael Deuel

There was a technique that was taught in many of the business classes I’ve taken over the years that works. You let the disgruntled individual state their case uninterrupted. When they are done, you repeat back to them what you heard them say: “What I hear you saying is….Is this correct?” They can then correct you or agree with you. And, 98% of the time, this works to facilitate effective communication so that any problem can be discussed. The other 2%, well, what are you going to do? Some people don’t really want to be satisfied and there is nothing you’re ever going to be able to do to fix that.

Talk, Talk, Talk! Don't You Ever Listen?
©2010 Love Birds #2 by Michael Deuel

This method can work on the personal level also. I found that, with the oldest daughter, it was very useful. Oddly enough, I think she actually initiated our using it to get to the root of a problem. I know I was pretty impressed with her at that point. But, I meander…

It is so hard, though, at times to keep your head clear of the smoke that arises in the middle of a, ahem, “discussion” with someone you care about. But it is so crucial to implement some system that allows all parties to speak and to be heard. Or else, you’ll be “dealing with the same situations over and over again, without resolution”, if I may quote myself.

It’s something everyone needs to work at: listening, really listening, and speaking without contempt or derision. If we could all remember that, not only would the world be so much better, but, there’d be nothing to dread about dealing with each other. We could all just enjoy the peace on earth and the beauty of the skies.

The First Step is Always Hardest

When Mike and I built the house that we’re in now, I was trembling with excitement in anticipation of the first spring. I had acres of land to create lush, colorful perennial gardens. Lots and lots of them!

Coming Soon to a Garden Near You!
©2011Grey Silk Butterfly by Mike Deuel

Seven years later and I’m looking forward to spring in the gardens again. But, with an entirely different goal in mind. Actually, the complete opposite: how to reduce the gardens. Or, at least the amount of work that goes into them.

For most people, this wouldn’t be an issue, but I have a horrible time destroying anything living. I’m the one in the office that caught the spiders and brought them outside so that they might live. Though I don’t think I was being overly kind when the temperatures were very cold. I just couldn’t squash them.

This same mentality holds true for plants as well. I’ve finally gotten hardened against weeds- that was quite tough, in all honesty. What had they done to deserve to die? Now an entire garden? Yikes! I feel sick now just thinking about it. However, it has to be done.



Brrr...Poor Spiders!
©2011 Niagara-on-the-Lake #2 by Mike Deuel



Part of the problem with this particular garden is that I had no idea just how dry and windy it would be in that spot. I knew it was extremely sunny, but had no clue about the almost constant drought conditions. Unfortunately, those determined weeds don’t mind being parched all summer.

Over the years, though, I’ve kept track, even if just in my mind, of which plants have done well and which ones were duds. And, the goal, as mentioned in an earlier blog, is to create a garden that will choke out the weeds as much as possible. I refuse to spend all of the gardening season pulling those suckers! Again….!

A few years ago, I’d seen a book I wanted to get called The Well-Tended Perennial Garden by Tracy DiSabato-Aust. I found it at the library (good, ol’ public library!) and it has the best listing I’ve encountered to date for plants. The listings detail good vs. bad versions of the plant, as well as how it does in real conditions. You know, like wind and sun. Between experience and this great guide, I should be able to rejuvenate this beloved flowerbed.



Wash Away the Old...
©2011Watkins Glen #1 by Mike Deuel



The sad part, though, is that the entire garden will have to go first. I dread having to do that in any aspect of my life. But, the reality is that it must be done constantly if things are to become reinvigorated and invited to grow again.

Sometimes, something will come to light about someone you’ve loved that damages your entire relationship with them. There are times that all you can do is toss the whole mess away. And then there are times that if you brush the debris away, you can rebuild the relationship. Just on a different foundation.

Other times, it’s turning your back on a good thing in your life, because you need to move onto something even better. I was presented with this dilemma this week. As I’ve mentioned, I have a good job with a good boss, which has opened up so many new avenues in my life. This weekend, I was offered an equally good job that also improves the financials.

With time, and resolution, the feelings caused by the creating of a new, clean slate- sadness, regret, even fear- fade. They are overtaken by the joy of newer and stronger creations of your making. It seems like the efforts involved with this type of change can be overwhelming, the rewards can also be just as (beautifully) overwhelming.



...Sweep in the New
©2011 Charlotte Pier by Mike Deuel



IF Stir: Hope

Spring Stirrings
Permanent Marker on Smooth Bristol

When the Illustration Friday word arrived, my mind flew to an e-mail I'd received from Joan about a month ago.

I'd been kvetching about the long, long, looonngg, winter we've been having. Between the media hype about 2012 and all the other horrible weather around the country, even the world ( as sadly evidenced in Japan yesterday), I'd gotten very dramatic and written to her that it was beginning to feel like the "end of days".

This was her response:

"Yes, hopefully the end of days will end, and spring will push through. Of course it will. In February I always imagine that the green things are there, under the frozen surface, and they are yawning and stretching and shaking hands with each other and getting out their to-do lists. Making earth tea and inviting each other over and discussing all their plans for the Great Emergence. So much to do, so much to do. Polish those rhizomes, trim those brown bits, sharpen the tips. In just a few weeks, it'll be time to reach up and push through. All those bleary-eyed, saggy-souled winter survivors are waiting."

I've held this wonderful image in my heart for the last few weeks. It's a comforting scene of renewal and survival of the flowers, the trees, the people.

I wish I could share this vision with all the people of Japan. Thank you for letting me share it with you.

IF Warning

A Warning Look

Remember when you knew you were just a hair's width away from disaster by the look in your mother/father's eyes? That's what I thought of when I got the Illo Friday word for this week.

Of course, the ability to use this look to it's fullest effect is developed as soon the parental mantle is assumed. For generations, women have said that they'd never do to their kids what their mothers did to them. I'm pretty sure that holds true for men as well.

Yet, there is a strange power in the universe that takes over your body when your child is being, shall we say, difficult. Your arms move your hands onto your hips, your shoulders come up around your ears, your brow furrows, your chin drops down, and the corners of your mouth curl tightly into a frown.

Once the "confrontation" is concluded, hopefully without damage, you realize your stance is exactly how...OMG...your mother stood when you where on that same slippery slope many years prior!!!

You gradually accept that you've developed some of the same tendencies and, after a while, you might even be smart enough to brag that you have so many in common with your mother.

But, oh, that look! "Danger, danger, Will Robinson!"

I'm Late, I'm Late!

If an hour is always 60 minutes, why does it seem so short at times and so very long at others? With the exception of February, each month consists of the same number of days every year, yet with the proverbial blink-of-an-eye, the calendar page needs to be flipped again. And, on the subject of months, why is the shortest month always the longest (at least in western New York)? Actually, that one’s obvious; no need to expound on that.



Covered Bridge Vermont
©Scenes of Serenity Note Cards
Portion of Sales Goes to Hearthside Cats

 It seemed when I was in school, especially grade school, the summer lasted forever. Maybe even a little too long. I admit that I was a “brainiac” and liked school, but it wasn’t as if I did nothing that I liked to do during the vacation. I swam, played at summer theater and spent tons of time with friends just enjoying our time to ourselves.

Now? Forget it! It seems Memorial Day is here and within a month’s time, it’s Labor Day! I know part of the reason is that there is so much more that needs to be done on an hourly, daily, weekly, monthly basis that it’s hard to find the leisure time to sit back and enjoy the season. I find myself working so hard to find time to relax and soak up the warmth and scents and views, all the time just gets used up!

We all do it. We try to cram so many events into our lives that our lives disappear. If you consider that we have to schedule an event, i.e., vacation, to create leisure time, it’s really sort of sad.

Covered Bridge Vermont
Another Angle of the Original

There’s no way of truly slowing time down. It’ll never be as generous as it was when we were younger. Every year, I’ve resolved to be sure to relish the sunlight and long days. And every year, I’ve failed. I never manage to drop enough responsibilities to make up the time I need for those pleasures.

This year, the plan is to make that time happen is to revamp the gardens to eliminate the weeding. Shrubs, shrubs and more shrubs. Minimal flowers, lots of ground cover. Mike is going to stop mowing the more remote areas of the yard. The bicycles will be primed to hit the Canal Path by Memorial Day, not sitting in the shed for 2 out of 3 of the summer months. We’re going to find the walking path behind this house we’ve lived in for the last 7 years and use it. Regularly.

Yep, the house will be a bit dusty, the furniture fuzzy with cat fur, splashes of pop on the counters and floor. It’ll be tidied as needed, but it will not be on the “schedule”. And, you know, a lot of weeds are quite pretty. Really!

It’s time to reclaim our time. Join me?

******************************************************

And the Winner is.....!

Carol of Facing 50 with Humour! Which is, by the way, the best 15 minutes of the day. You've got to check her blog out. It is funny and fantastic!

Carol, let me know what you'd like celebrated with your Gift Tag: theme, colors, interests, name of the recipient and age, if relevant.

Thank you for participating in the giveaway, Carol! And, thank you, all, for being my blog friends and more!

Organization: Mission Impossible/Giveaway

When Mike and I were working together, we always prided ourselves on how the systems in our store were organized to facilitate as good a flow as possible. We pushed the staff constantly to document details and to prioritize every action taken in the office. Creating a well-oiled machine was the goal.



Ice Fog #1
Water Soluble Oils on Wrapped Canvas

And, while the store runs fairly smoothly, considering the volume of work and customers, it never has become that well-oiled machine we strove to make. Not everyone is naturally inclined to being organized and it is not a trait that can be forced upon an individual. 

String of Spring
Watercolor Pencil on
Strathmore 120#

The sad part of this is that I am not an organized person. Not naturally. Despite decades of trying to become instinctively tidy and timely, it just won’t come. Things are stuffed in drawers, never to be found again. I’m chronically 5-15 minutes late. Projects are never ending. I get so many things going at the same time that everything becomes jumbled and nothing is ever really finished.

I’ve done the list-thing, over and over again, to no avail. I’ve scribbled them and lost them. I’ve started pocket calendars repeatedly and promptly ignored them. I’ve created grids with weekly outlines that get buried under all the other papers I generate. As for the dry-erase board, the last entry I have on it is from before Thanksgiving. Of 2008.

The problem I’ve always had with lists and schedules is that they only work as long as nothing happens that disrupts them. You know: kids, parents, pets, illness, weather, etc. And while the spouse may be unbelievably supportive of your many endeavors, it’s impossible to determine, in advance, how much time you’ll need or want with him/her.

And disruption is not the only challenge. There is also the tendency to underestimate the amount of time any particular project may take. Something that might take your teenager 15 minutes on the computer will probably take you 2 hours. If you’re lucky. I’ve been cleaning my basement for the last 3 winters. I keep finding more things that need to be tossed, repackaged, donated, and cleaned. And we’ve only been in this house 7 years!

At this point in my life, though, I’m not sweating it anymore. It’ll get done when it gets done. I may not be any better organized than I’ve ever been, but I’ve gotten much better at prioritizing.


Ice Fog #2

When I was growing up, our house always had to be immaculate. Now, I tend to think my house is a disaster, but I’ve realized, when apologizing to service people for the mess, it’s really not that bad. There’s no vermin (with the exception of an occasional field mouse), there are clean dishes and linens, and the health department hasn’t shut me down. And, in the recent past, I hold onto this thought my mother expressed: “I wish we had spent less time cleaning and more time playing.”

String of Spring Detail

I’ll still make lists. I have to, otherwise, I’d spend most of my days scratching my head and muttering to myself, “What the heck was I doing/looking for/coming in here for?”

But the key element to what I need to get done, above and beyond the basics, is easy: Is it something I and my family and friends going to enjoy?

It’s no contest between lunch with the girlfriends and finishing organizing the basement. Or dusting the house versus dinner with my parents and husband. And definitely no conflict between spending time with the kids or staying late at work.

I like this new form of organization much better. It’s a much more natural system for me.

　********************************************

Unfortunately, once again, the response to the giveaway has fallen flat. I do thank Carol & Joan for their wonderful responses. Right now, it's between these 2 lovely ladies.

In the hopes of gaining more responses, the giveaway for the Gift Tag for a Great Day will be continued through Monday, March 7th.

For those without your own blog, you can email me at bronsonhillarts@gmail.com or become a follower and leave a comment to participate.

And, even if you're not interested in the Gift Tag, it'd be nice to hear some uplifting messages about the good things in your life! So, show us that you're a fellow fan of life and join us on the Hill!