Chaos

Grey Gold

 A theme often touched upon in this blog is learning to accept giving ourselves some slack in our lives. When there are so many details in your world that seem to need tending, a loss of enjoyment of your life can follow.

So, while allowing the little things slide so as indulge ourselves in the bigger and better aspects of our lives is tricky, learning to deal with the onslaught of chaos is an entirely different situation. And, much more difficult to tame.

Chaos can be induced by something as minor as a head cold, or as major as losing a job. The hassle of rearranging a week of activities and obligations can be overwhelming; fortunately, the possible off-putting of events for a week can help us to avoid having to do too much maneuvering immediately. Chaos can be ignored sometimes and, often, we are better to just do so.

But, when it is something as encompassing as loss of a job, a career, an income, the chaos that ensues can be overwhelming. A reevaluation of an entire lifestyle doesn’t come simply, nor is it something that can be pushed away in the hope that delay will make the chaos disappear.

The idea of just offering it up to the Universe begs the issue of bringing our lives back into a livable state. The tricky part of chaos descending is that it is like a violent, churning ocean storm in which you are caught without a usable vessel: you are not only treading water to stay afloat, but know that you need to be swimming toward shore before the waves overtake you. The shore is order, land under our feet the necessary control. The Universe may wash you onto the sand, but without your contribution of effort, the odds decrease significantly.

There are times when it seems like an entire front of chaos blows across your shoreline, tossing a new storm over your haven constantly, ripping the plywood you’ve just affixed for safety, off, in a single puff.

Other Side of the Door

Yep.

Been that way for a while now. Still have no system to bring chaos into line; still dealing with each crisis, unexpected expense, loss, illness, etc., at a time. Sometimes it’s relatively clear what needs to be done to move out of the storm. Other times, there is no obvious solution; or worse, any solution that you can implement as others hold the power, if you will.

Maybe it is as straightforward as letting the Universe decide for you. Maybe it is forgiving yourself for not having the ability to solve a situation brought about by chaos. Maybe it just is what it is and it’s okay to accept that. Maybe it is taking a lot of deep breaths, closing your eyes, opening them again and refocusing your energies.

It seems to most likely be the last one. And, that’s okay if that's what it has to be.

Expanse at Sunset
 

 

IF Intention: The Gift

The Gift
Permanent Marker 6x6 Smooth Bristol
©2012 BEDeuel/Bronson Hill Arts

I'm sure we've all had an occasion in our lives when it's been hard to gracefully accept a heartfelt, but awkward, gift.

The first time, that I can clearly recall, was when I was a kid. My great-aunt was part of the family and had taken to hand-feeding a sickly cat who had taken residence outside our house. The cat, named Tigger, regained her health (and went on to live a very long life) thanks to Aunt Marie's efforts. You might guess how Tigger repaid her based on the illustration for IF posted here. Yep: dead critters left at the front door. There were a lot of screams on a lot of early mornings. Aunt Marie thought she could avoid the gifts by going out through the garage door, but Tigger caught on quickly and started to deposit her presents of gratitude at that door. The morning screams continued for quite a while.

Another time, in more recent years, was that first well-intentioned, but, decidedly, unromantic gift from the hubby, at-that-time boyfriend. I learned then (but still forget frequently) he actually does listen to me when I mention something I might like to get. Like a convertible vacuum cleaner. For my birthday. Yes, very awkward, indeed.

Most of the time, we manage to gather our wits enough to react, perhaps belatedly,but with as much grace as we can. However, the gift-giver knows, no matter how rapidly we may recover. 

I don't know about you, but I find that when that happens, I feel so awful for not being grateful, that I start to see the gift in a different light. It becomes all the more precious for the thought and love put into it, from the giver to the recipient, even if it doesn't meet the expectation initially.

When a daughter needed a vacuum cleaner for her school residence, she asked if she could take that convertible one with her. Oddly enough, it was hard to part with it. I think you may know why now.