Love That Face!



Intrigued

About a week ago, a woman at work was commenting that a stranger had unexpectedly started up a long, and, perhaps, a little-too-intimate conversation with her in line at the grocery store. Knowing the woman, I had said that I wasn’t surprised. She has one of “those” faces. I don’t think she wanted to acknowledge that statement, as she is a naturally modest person.


Paula


By saying that she has one of “those” faces, I was saying that her innate kindness and inclination to care about others actually shows on her face. It might be an acquired side effect from years of working with people, but that Face doesn’t happen to everyone who does so.

I grew up with a dad who has that magnetic Face. He made friends with everyone he with whom he made contact. Sometimes I think it would drive the rest of us up the proverbial wall. There was no anonymity anywhere we went. As a chronically sulky teenager, it could be frustrating.

But what I eventually realized with the passing of time is that Dad is someone who truly does care about other people. And, very simply, other kind people sensed it and responded in like. Obviously, I came to appreciate this trait, because I married Mike, who is, well, the same type of Soul and Face.


Just Closing His Eyes

I also noticed that I was developing that Face as well. Oh, there were days when the Aura was so dark, no one would come near me. But, there were more days when the connection was made. And, while I know that a short encounter with a stranger will not shake the world as we know it, I do also know that both of us will walk away happier for having had that time.

 So, to the lovely lady I had met the next day at the car dealership, and the waiter who sat down to enjoy a cup of coffee with my friend and me this week, I’m glad we’ve met and shared a few minutes of friendship.

 It seems that you also have one of “those” faces. And, that’s good to know because the world needs a whole lot more hearts with that Face.



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Lend Me Your Ear

“Is it a full moon?”

This was a question that was posed every month. And, we did not have to look at a calendar to know that it was on its way. With the exception of the not-so-jolly Christmas season, anyone who works with large numbers of people can nail the week of the full moon. The reason Christmas doesn’t count is that too many people take on too much and are, well, crabby all season. But the rest of the year, there’s rarely any confusion as to the phases of that old moon.

In case you’ve been completely isolated from the media this last week, we’ve just experienced what has been called a “Super Moon”. The moon was the closest to the earth it had been for a couple of decades and will be for a couple of more. So, knowing how strong an influence the moon normally has during its not-so-super full phase, can you imagine how tense things can become with a “Super Moon”?

What Influences What?
©2010 Grand Canyon #1 by Michael Deuel

For more than a decade, I’d worked in what one might consider a very particularly demanding market. You could tell the moon was waxing to full. Even the calmest of clients could be cranky. Everyone, clients and staff, would become edgy, possibly in anticipation of everyone else being cranky and edgy.

I’ve been somewhat insulated from that situation the last year. I’ve been working a new business so that the traffic has been slow enough to avoid that building tension. And, it’s been in a small town, where, overall, the people are easy-going and not as rushed.  It’s been so very nice, to say the least! Nary a crank! I have been spoiled!

So, though I shouldn’t be, I’ve been surprised to sense a great deal of tension in my life this week.  I know part of it is dealing with quite a few changes again. Part of it is dealing with the same situations over and over again, without resolution. But, is it the “Super Moon”? Or just the “cycle” of living?

I do believe that the moon can affect mood and behavior. I’m not talking werewolves and lunatics being affected. I’m thinking that just as any other force in the universe, there is a physical impact which in turn creates an emotional wave for everyone. This wave can skewer perceptions which can cause serious communication problems between parties.

Force & Spirit
©2010 Blue Skies & Water & a Rainbow by Michael Deuel

There was a technique that was taught in many of the business classes I’ve taken over the years that works. You let the disgruntled individual state their case uninterrupted. When they are done, you repeat back to them what you heard them say: “What I hear you saying is….Is this correct?” They can then correct you or agree with you. And, 98% of the time, this works to facilitate effective communication so that any problem can be discussed. The other 2%, well, what are you going to do? Some people don’t really want to be satisfied and there is nothing you’re ever going to be able to do to fix that.

Talk, Talk, Talk! Don't You Ever Listen?
©2010 Love Birds #2 by Michael Deuel

This method can work on the personal level also. I found that, with the oldest daughter, it was very useful. Oddly enough, I think she actually initiated our using it to get to the root of a problem. I know I was pretty impressed with her at that point. But, I meander…

It is so hard, though, at times to keep your head clear of the smoke that arises in the middle of a, ahem, “discussion” with someone you care about. But it is so crucial to implement some system that allows all parties to speak and to be heard. Or else, you’ll be “dealing with the same situations over and over again, without resolution”, if I may quote myself.

It’s something everyone needs to work at: listening, really listening, and speaking without contempt or derision. If we could all remember that, not only would the world be so much better, but, there’d be nothing to dread about dealing with each other. We could all just enjoy the peace on earth and the beauty of the skies.

Remembering The Season

Still Smiling!

It’s been a long winter already in this part of the world. The sky has been spitting snow at us almost every day, the temperature is on vacation (somewhere warm, I’m guessing) and I think I’m ready to buy stock in windshield washer fluid.

Yet, it’s been a surprisingly pleasant season. Despite the irritations of the weather and legitimate fears about money this year, people have been, well, nice. Almost everyone has been talkative, sharing information and special finds at the stores. There have been smiles and laughter amongst strangers, often about the horrendous weather and lack of funds.

And Singing!

People have been looking other people in the eye and welcoming each other into their moments. Having worked in a mall setting for so many years, Mike and I have often experimented by trying to create eye contact with strangers. We’ve done this to find out if we could get people to smile. Our reason was simple: it makes the day better for not only us, but other people. It’s been a grand surprise to see this happening spontaneously for a change.

The last few days, though, I’ve been feeling a shift to the frantic. It’s even manifested itself in our own little world. The pressure of getting it all done is bearing down. 

The question that I force myself to face when this happens is, “Why does it all need to get done?”. Truly. It doesn’t.

Santa will get there one way...

Is your daughter really going to despise you if you don’t buy that huge curly ribbon for her gift? Is Aunt Martha really going to look at the top of the refrigerator and see the fine layer of dust? And, if she does, will she care? Don’t you feel, deep within your heart, that it’s better to spend the time with everyone, to share love and joy?

...or another!

So, take it easy on yourself this week. Life is too short. Relax, enjoy your loved ones, friends and, even, the people you meet when you’re out and about. You, and everyone else, will relish the wonderful, lingering feelings of the season longer than any gift you can purchase.

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Just a peek at some "traditions" in our home, past through not-so-long-ago past:



Santa in the far past...



...and Santa in the near past.





One Grandma's Collection...



...of Mr. & Mrs. Claus...



...and another Grandma's Home for them to live in.



Keep the spirit, this week, and every week. Try to live by the Golden Rule.

Merry Christmas!

From the Deuels, by blood & marriage, past, present and, hopefully, future!