IF Jump

Jumpin' In!
Water Soluble Pencil on 9x12 140# Canson Watercolor Paper
©2012 BEDeuel/Bronson Hill Arts

The topic for this week's Illustration Friday is "Jump". And, with summer (hopefully) coming, thoughts turn to water, fun, even a little freedom from the humdrum.

While I've never had the opportunity, nor, likely,the nerve, to swing over a body of water and just jump into it, it's one of those images that defines summer and childhood in my mind.

No fear, no constraints. Uninhibited joy in a moment of daring. No hesitation in pursuit of happiness.

Full awareness of bodily injury, or even death, would make it impossible for me to possibly contemplate this type of stunt. Age can be self-perpetuating: physical safety tends to allow one to continue to age. Not a bad thing, really.

But, what about taking that sense of abandon to our emotional and mental endeavors? Why not look for a challenge and "jump" on it? No fear, no constraints. No hesitation in pursuit of happiness.

While there's no guarantee that I won't be one of those 80-year-old ladies who decide to skydive before they leave this earthly life, for now, I think I'll settle for some mental gymnastics over the physical ones. Mind challenges can be just as stimulating if you truly put yourself out there!

Enjoy the week, friends!

IF Grounded

Grounded on a Rubber Sole
4x6 Watersoluble Pencil on 120# Paper
©2012 BE Deuel Bronson Hill Arts

“Grounded“. It’s one of those words that can mean so many different things.

In the mundane aspect, it can refer to the design of an electrical plug or the purpose of a lightning rod. In a child’s/teenager’s life, it can mean the end of the world; at least in the short run, which can seem like forever for them. In relation to the metaphysical, it can mean being well-adjusted and able to deal with reality.

Do I consider myself a grounded person? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I’ve worked relatively steadily since I was 16, keep a decent home, support and love my family and friends. I can be so insanely realistic at times that I can irritate others with my apparent “negativity”. There is quite a bit of evidence that I am well-grounded.

But, even at that, I still dream dreams that aren’t practical. I would love to have an animal foster home and a fulltime art business. I have always wanted to write a book. It would be incredible to spend 6 months in an RV with my husband exploring the U.S. with cameras and canvas in hand!

On a smaller scale, I would be thrilled to have enough time to sleep and read in the hammock every spring, summer and fall day. Oh, actually, that would include the dream of being able to afford to hire someone to clean my house and weed my gardens! I would enjoy sampling a meal in every restaurant and diner in this area that we live in and anywhere else we‘d fancy.

I suppose what makes me a “grounded” person is that I know that the odds are that these dreams are, most likely, not going to happen in this incarnation. But what makes me happy, is still be able to enjoy those dreams and the reaching for those goals.

Yes, grounded is good, but happy is better.

An Accomplishment

This Friday, July 8th, the Genesee Valley Council on the Arts is opening it's Member Exhibit. And, it's my first "show" since college, 30-odd years ago.

Obviously being a member's exhibit, it's not juried. But, it's a first step. For me, it was the accomplishment of starting the works, learning about framing (& both pieces do look so much better framed), and just following through.

I've always been held back by an unfortunate case of anxiety. The fear of failure has stopped me in my tracks more times than I could ever recall.

I used to constantly get choked up about whether anyone would like what I did or if it was good enough. Would people just laugh at me behind my back? Or, worse, to my face? Stage fright and anxiety attacks were not a rare occurance.


Ice Fog
5x7 Water Soluble Paint on Canvas
©BEDeuel 2011

 A good part of my life has been spent almost paralyzed by this condition. And, that includes pursuing the idea of showing my work. A lot of times, it even prevented me from finishing an artpiece. What if I didn't know how to finish it? Wouldn't it just be easier to stop and say that I ran out of time to finish it?

Now, I won't lie: I'm still concerned about what people think. I have to be concerned if I'm to function in the real world. I have to perform in my job and work with clients as well as other workers. But, I've been doing the job so long that it's second nature that comes so easily, I don't have the need to overthink it and panic. Some details and procedures may still trip me up, but those setbacks pass quickly.

The opportunity to show a couple of pieces along with a variety of other artists is wonderful. I get to see the differences in both the works and the reactions that people may have to the works. I am prepared that my pieces may not generate any interest. But, it's the first step to seeing where I may need to aim the next time with my work.

I'll try to do a few more non-juried presentations, but, the goal is to try to be accepted into a juried exhibition. The goal is to overcome the fear of rejection and failure.

I have to say "thank you" to all of you who have been so encouraging and supportive over these last several months. I'm not sure I would've screwed up the needed courage to do this otherwise.


Silhouette in Field
6x8 Acrylic Paint on Canvas Panel
©BEDeuel 2010

I'm so excited to be starting on the path of this newest journey!

Enjoy your holiday weekend and any journeys you decide to take now or in the future!

Lend Me Your Ear

“Is it a full moon?”

This was a question that was posed every month. And, we did not have to look at a calendar to know that it was on its way. With the exception of the not-so-jolly Christmas season, anyone who works with large numbers of people can nail the week of the full moon. The reason Christmas doesn’t count is that too many people take on too much and are, well, crabby all season. But the rest of the year, there’s rarely any confusion as to the phases of that old moon.

In case you’ve been completely isolated from the media this last week, we’ve just experienced what has been called a “Super Moon”. The moon was the closest to the earth it had been for a couple of decades and will be for a couple of more. So, knowing how strong an influence the moon normally has during its not-so-super full phase, can you imagine how tense things can become with a “Super Moon”?

What Influences What?
©2010 Grand Canyon #1 by Michael Deuel

For more than a decade, I’d worked in what one might consider a very particularly demanding market. You could tell the moon was waxing to full. Even the calmest of clients could be cranky. Everyone, clients and staff, would become edgy, possibly in anticipation of everyone else being cranky and edgy.

I’ve been somewhat insulated from that situation the last year. I’ve been working a new business so that the traffic has been slow enough to avoid that building tension. And, it’s been in a small town, where, overall, the people are easy-going and not as rushed.  It’s been so very nice, to say the least! Nary a crank! I have been spoiled!

So, though I shouldn’t be, I’ve been surprised to sense a great deal of tension in my life this week.  I know part of it is dealing with quite a few changes again. Part of it is dealing with the same situations over and over again, without resolution. But, is it the “Super Moon”? Or just the “cycle” of living?

I do believe that the moon can affect mood and behavior. I’m not talking werewolves and lunatics being affected. I’m thinking that just as any other force in the universe, there is a physical impact which in turn creates an emotional wave for everyone. This wave can skewer perceptions which can cause serious communication problems between parties.

Force & Spirit
©2010 Blue Skies & Water & a Rainbow by Michael Deuel

There was a technique that was taught in many of the business classes I’ve taken over the years that works. You let the disgruntled individual state their case uninterrupted. When they are done, you repeat back to them what you heard them say: “What I hear you saying is….Is this correct?” They can then correct you or agree with you. And, 98% of the time, this works to facilitate effective communication so that any problem can be discussed. The other 2%, well, what are you going to do? Some people don’t really want to be satisfied and there is nothing you’re ever going to be able to do to fix that.

Talk, Talk, Talk! Don't You Ever Listen?
©2010 Love Birds #2 by Michael Deuel

This method can work on the personal level also. I found that, with the oldest daughter, it was very useful. Oddly enough, I think she actually initiated our using it to get to the root of a problem. I know I was pretty impressed with her at that point. But, I meander…

It is so hard, though, at times to keep your head clear of the smoke that arises in the middle of a, ahem, “discussion” with someone you care about. But it is so crucial to implement some system that allows all parties to speak and to be heard. Or else, you’ll be “dealing with the same situations over and over again, without resolution”, if I may quote myself.

It’s something everyone needs to work at: listening, really listening, and speaking without contempt or derision. If we could all remember that, not only would the world be so much better, but, there’d be nothing to dread about dealing with each other. We could all just enjoy the peace on earth and the beauty of the skies.

Organization: Mission Impossible/Giveaway

When Mike and I were working together, we always prided ourselves on how the systems in our store were organized to facilitate as good a flow as possible. We pushed the staff constantly to document details and to prioritize every action taken in the office. Creating a well-oiled machine was the goal.



Ice Fog #1
Water Soluble Oils on Wrapped Canvas

And, while the store runs fairly smoothly, considering the volume of work and customers, it never has become that well-oiled machine we strove to make. Not everyone is naturally inclined to being organized and it is not a trait that can be forced upon an individual. 

String of Spring
Watercolor Pencil on
Strathmore 120#

The sad part of this is that I am not an organized person. Not naturally. Despite decades of trying to become instinctively tidy and timely, it just won’t come. Things are stuffed in drawers, never to be found again. I’m chronically 5-15 minutes late. Projects are never ending. I get so many things going at the same time that everything becomes jumbled and nothing is ever really finished.

I’ve done the list-thing, over and over again, to no avail. I’ve scribbled them and lost them. I’ve started pocket calendars repeatedly and promptly ignored them. I’ve created grids with weekly outlines that get buried under all the other papers I generate. As for the dry-erase board, the last entry I have on it is from before Thanksgiving. Of 2008.

The problem I’ve always had with lists and schedules is that they only work as long as nothing happens that disrupts them. You know: kids, parents, pets, illness, weather, etc. And while the spouse may be unbelievably supportive of your many endeavors, it’s impossible to determine, in advance, how much time you’ll need or want with him/her.

And disruption is not the only challenge. There is also the tendency to underestimate the amount of time any particular project may take. Something that might take your teenager 15 minutes on the computer will probably take you 2 hours. If you’re lucky. I’ve been cleaning my basement for the last 3 winters. I keep finding more things that need to be tossed, repackaged, donated, and cleaned. And we’ve only been in this house 7 years!

At this point in my life, though, I’m not sweating it anymore. It’ll get done when it gets done. I may not be any better organized than I’ve ever been, but I’ve gotten much better at prioritizing.


Ice Fog #2

When I was growing up, our house always had to be immaculate. Now, I tend to think my house is a disaster, but I’ve realized, when apologizing to service people for the mess, it’s really not that bad. There’s no vermin (with the exception of an occasional field mouse), there are clean dishes and linens, and the health department hasn’t shut me down. And, in the recent past, I hold onto this thought my mother expressed: “I wish we had spent less time cleaning and more time playing.”

String of Spring Detail

I’ll still make lists. I have to, otherwise, I’d spend most of my days scratching my head and muttering to myself, “What the heck was I doing/looking for/coming in here for?”

But the key element to what I need to get done, above and beyond the basics, is easy: Is it something I and my family and friends going to enjoy?

It’s no contest between lunch with the girlfriends and finishing organizing the basement. Or dusting the house versus dinner with my parents and husband. And definitely no conflict between spending time with the kids or staying late at work.

I like this new form of organization much better. It’s a much more natural system for me.

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Unfortunately, once again, the response to the giveaway has fallen flat. I do thank Carol & Joan for their wonderful responses. Right now, it's between these 2 lovely ladies.

In the hopes of gaining more responses, the giveaway for the Gift Tag for a Great Day will be continued through Monday, March 7th.

For those without your own blog, you can email me at bronsonhillarts@gmail.com or become a follower and leave a comment to participate.

And, even if you're not interested in the Gift Tag, it'd be nice to hear some uplifting messages about the good things in your life! So, show us that you're a fellow fan of life and join us on the Hill!

Hey, That's My Name! IF "Dusty"



Lots of Fun with a Dusty Bottle!
Smooth Bristol Paper/Ink & Paint

The topic for this week at IF is "dusty". I'm very partial to the word.

A few years ago, I was tested for allergic triggers, because, obviously, I was having problems with reactions to almost everything. One of the conclusions was that I am allergic to a couple of the ingredients in hair dye.

This was a traumatic discovery. I had started turning gray when I was 28 and had been dying it ever since. I knew I was heavily gray under the color and dreaded letting it show. There's nothing as aging to a woman's appearance as gray hair.

With the help of a friend (who is also a masterful hair stylist), over about 2 years, the gray emerged, gracefully. I knew that it was permanent and, no matter how much I hated it, there was no realistic way of getting around it. Denial, rage, resignation, acceptance. I was grieving for my youthful-looking hair. Probably, for the youth in general, really.

About this time, I was becoming a texting fool and wanted a moniker that was me, but not ridiculous for a woman-of-a-certain-age. And, a song came to mind. It's called Dust On the Bottle. See where this is going? Here's the line that hit me:

"There might be a little dust on the bottle, but don't let it fool ya 'bout what's inside."

That was it; that was my needed, new handle. Dusty Bottle. It made gray hair fun. And a little saucy. Nothing wrong with a little saucy fun, ladies. Puts a bright twist on middle-age.

So, thank you, Illustration Friday, for the opportunity to illustrate my new nickname and to show how much fun a dusty bottle can be!



Reunion

This weekend, I'm making a pilgrimage to my homeland. It's time for the 30th (What?!?) high school class reunion. The last time I came close to going to one of these events, was 20 years ago. We never quite made it, opting to gather for brunch. It beat attending an event where we'd meet with people we didn't particularly care for 10 years earlier. And, that decision amongst friends, was a good one. It was a true and rare pleasure.

I've thought about trekking back to the Island for other reunions that have been arranged (oddly enough, by the same 2 women each time-have to wonder about that type of dedication to the "good old days"). But any motivation was questionable. The only reason I really wanted to go to any of those events was to see whatever happened to.... Did so-and-so lose his hair (which I have from a reliable source, he didn't) or did so-and-so pack on a ton of weight (after she wumped out a bunch of kids with the star quarterback)? I wanted to indulge every pettiness I could muster toward all those cruel and selfish teenagers who had emphasized my awkwardness. Fortunately, the bile that had found it's way into my heart wasn't enough of a reason to make the trip appealing.

This time is different. I'm very excited, in some very positive ways, to go home, to reunite with my classmates.

In every stage of life, everyone has a core group of friends. Some of the peripherals will change over time, but the main strands stand solidly against the years. The high school stage, if you will, shifted with the time passages. The last couple of years have seen a bit of a renewed cohesion. Re-establishing these relationships has been cathartic in certain ways. Building on the old friendship and commonalities, past dreams and and ambitions have be revisited and refined. It's a chance to set those dreams free to fly again, to seek out those dreams of youth. And, it will be so much fun to celebrate the anticipation of the next part of the journey with your new-old friends!

The other reason I'm thrilled to be able to do this, reflects how my life, as well has my perspective, has changed. It shows how my life is happy and I'm more comfortable with myself.

I hope that some of the people with whom I have had peripheral friendships are there, too. I want to know that they've had good lives, good health. I pray that I find that they are also happy. The hurtful people will be invisible to me. They had their glory 30 years ago. My goal will be to find the joy life's given the rest of us these last 30 years.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! I know I'm going to have one!

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Niagara Falls-Winter




New Life-Spring







Storm Front-Summer



Rush to the End of the Year- Autumn



Next week, I'll set up a contact page so we can start a conversation about what special person, place or event I can recreate for you.

For this week, I'll leave you with some of the visions my husband, Mike, has been able to capture on "film". None of his photography is touched up. You see it as he saw it. I hope you enjoy his work as much as I do!