IF Popular

Uh-Oh: Popular
Permanent Marker on 6x6 120# Smooth Bristol
©2012 BEDeuel/Bronson Hill Arts

I had the pleasure of gathering with the girlfriends for lunch today. One of the ladies related her latest adventure with her new-ish-ly adopted cats, 2 beautiful torties, and her beta fish. Yep, the kitties are fascinated with the fish and have been very creative in trying to "catch" a meal. Thus, the inspiration for this very quick sketch for Illustration Friday.

I know all of us can emphasize with this fish: feeling like the outside world is encroaching on our own private nook. What options do we have except to watch helplessly? It can be overwhelming and, sometimes, frightening.

Sometimes all we can do is what this little goldfish is doing: looking the threat in the eye and holding his head up, perhaps, preparing to go head-to-head with the imminent danger. Or, perhaps, getting ready to dive deeper into safety.

Whatever defenses we have to stave off personal disasters, the ability to rally, quietly or defiantly, is amazing. We do get through the crises to face another day. There is no right way or wrong way to muddle our way through these inevitable aspects of life. The only way is the way that works for us as individuals.

So, next time you feel like you're trapped in a goldfish bowl, trust your instincts. You'll be okay.

IF Suspense

Watercolor Paint on 4x6 Cold Press Paper
©2012 BEDeuel/Bronson Hill Arts

Illustration Friday's topic this week is "Suspense". This illustration may look more like "Peek-a-Boo", but it really represents suspense and mystery for me.

The suspense is, "How will my hair behave today?" and the mystery often is, "What did I do to make it look this good and how will I do it again?".

In my lifetime, I don't know that I've ever known a woman who's been consistently happy about her hair. This phenomenon can be demonstrated simply by wandering the hair care aisle in any store. Between the cleaning, conditioning and coloring products available to the sprays, styling gels and mousses, it takes an entire aisle to hold it all. And if you want a tool to curl your hair, you can choose from small, medium or large curls, spiral curls, crimped waves, etc. Straightening tools offer broad irons for longer needs and 1" or less irons for just a light, wispy effect. It's a great business in which to have stock! Go Conair!

I'm no different in regards to being dissatisfied with my hair. I have 3 things working against me: thin, wavy hair, allergies to stay-in hair products and, mostly, that I'm just plain lazy when it comes to working with it. I've had wonderful hair stylists do great cuts to no avail. It's too fickle to try to anticipate what momentous steps I'll have to take to tame it on any given day.

However, one advantage to age, or, preferably, aging with a certain amount of grace, is that it seems to matter less and less. I don't like the days when my hair goes completely and wildly bad, but the normal, mediocre days are fine.

Think I'll try to avoid the suspense and mystery and just let it go. I'd rather be doing a lot of other things with my time anyway!

IF Grounded

Grounded on a Rubber Sole
4x6 Watersoluble Pencil on 120# Paper
©2012 BE Deuel Bronson Hill Arts

“Grounded“. It’s one of those words that can mean so many different things.

In the mundane aspect, it can refer to the design of an electrical plug or the purpose of a lightning rod. In a child’s/teenager’s life, it can mean the end of the world; at least in the short run, which can seem like forever for them. In relation to the metaphysical, it can mean being well-adjusted and able to deal with reality.

Do I consider myself a grounded person? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I’ve worked relatively steadily since I was 16, keep a decent home, support and love my family and friends. I can be so insanely realistic at times that I can irritate others with my apparent “negativity”. There is quite a bit of evidence that I am well-grounded.

But, even at that, I still dream dreams that aren’t practical. I would love to have an animal foster home and a fulltime art business. I have always wanted to write a book. It would be incredible to spend 6 months in an RV with my husband exploring the U.S. with cameras and canvas in hand!

On a smaller scale, I would be thrilled to have enough time to sleep and read in the hammock every spring, summer and fall day. Oh, actually, that would include the dream of being able to afford to hire someone to clean my house and weed my gardens! I would enjoy sampling a meal in every restaurant and diner in this area that we live in and anywhere else we‘d fancy.

I suppose what makes me a “grounded” person is that I know that the odds are that these dreams are, most likely, not going to happen in this incarnation. But what makes me happy, is still be able to enjoy those dreams and the reaching for those goals.

Yes, grounded is good, but happy is better.

An Accomplishment

This Friday, July 8th, the Genesee Valley Council on the Arts is opening it's Member Exhibit. And, it's my first "show" since college, 30-odd years ago.

Obviously being a member's exhibit, it's not juried. But, it's a first step. For me, it was the accomplishment of starting the works, learning about framing (& both pieces do look so much better framed), and just following through.

I've always been held back by an unfortunate case of anxiety. The fear of failure has stopped me in my tracks more times than I could ever recall.

I used to constantly get choked up about whether anyone would like what I did or if it was good enough. Would people just laugh at me behind my back? Or, worse, to my face? Stage fright and anxiety attacks were not a rare occurance.


Ice Fog
5x7 Water Soluble Paint on Canvas
©BEDeuel 2011

 A good part of my life has been spent almost paralyzed by this condition. And, that includes pursuing the idea of showing my work. A lot of times, it even prevented me from finishing an artpiece. What if I didn't know how to finish it? Wouldn't it just be easier to stop and say that I ran out of time to finish it?

Now, I won't lie: I'm still concerned about what people think. I have to be concerned if I'm to function in the real world. I have to perform in my job and work with clients as well as other workers. But, I've been doing the job so long that it's second nature that comes so easily, I don't have the need to overthink it and panic. Some details and procedures may still trip me up, but those setbacks pass quickly.

The opportunity to show a couple of pieces along with a variety of other artists is wonderful. I get to see the differences in both the works and the reactions that people may have to the works. I am prepared that my pieces may not generate any interest. But, it's the first step to seeing where I may need to aim the next time with my work.

I'll try to do a few more non-juried presentations, but, the goal is to try to be accepted into a juried exhibition. The goal is to overcome the fear of rejection and failure.

I have to say "thank you" to all of you who have been so encouraging and supportive over these last several months. I'm not sure I would've screwed up the needed courage to do this otherwise.


Silhouette in Field
6x8 Acrylic Paint on Canvas Panel
©BEDeuel 2010

I'm so excited to be starting on the path of this newest journey!

Enjoy your holiday weekend and any journeys you decide to take now or in the future!

IF Shadows: Stepping Out

:

Dancing in the Shadows (B&W)
8x10 Permanent Marker
©BEDeuel 2010

A few years back, the middle daughter discovered the art of the Sharpie. She took any image that she liked, copied it and colored it in Sharpie, or permanent marker. She would (and still will) illustrate anything, including canvas shoes.

It was not, per se, something that I thought I'd enjoy doing myself. Until I saw an intriguing magazine cover.

The motion and colors of the dancers in the heavy shadows drew me into the scene. The intensity was there to be captured again, in a different medium.

So, I tried: Sharpies!



Dancers In the Shadows (Original)
©BEDeuel 2010

The uneven application of color detracts from the effect I was attempting to recreate. It was done on a mediocre paper and it shows.  I also, at that time, had a limited palette to work from so some of the coloring had to be improvised to a degree.

When the topic of "Shadow" was presented this week for Illo Friday, I had half-a-dozen different ideas, but stumbled across this picture in it's original form and decided to try it in a B&W effect.

And, I like it. Almost better than the original. Funny how that can happen at times, isn't it?

Since I did this sketch, I've done a great deal more with permanent markers. I've decided I like those, too. And, in working with markers, I started expanding into several different mediums I'd never thought I'd be interested in trying.

It's a series of links, like so many things in life. You're introduced to something different from the rest of your everyday world. You decide you like it, you decide to pursue it. It can lead to other new and interesting things. Some of those things you might like, others, not so much. Usually the positives outweigh the negatives, though, so the flow of new things into your world can be so exciting and energizing.

Embrace it, follow the flow wherever it goes and enjoy the results! Some of the most beautiful, yet unexpected, things can emerge from the shadows if you let them.

Love That Face!



Intrigued

About a week ago, a woman at work was commenting that a stranger had unexpectedly started up a long, and, perhaps, a little-too-intimate conversation with her in line at the grocery store. Knowing the woman, I had said that I wasn’t surprised. She has one of “those” faces. I don’t think she wanted to acknowledge that statement, as she is a naturally modest person.


Paula


By saying that she has one of “those” faces, I was saying that her innate kindness and inclination to care about others actually shows on her face. It might be an acquired side effect from years of working with people, but that Face doesn’t happen to everyone who does so.

I grew up with a dad who has that magnetic Face. He made friends with everyone he with whom he made contact. Sometimes I think it would drive the rest of us up the proverbial wall. There was no anonymity anywhere we went. As a chronically sulky teenager, it could be frustrating.

But what I eventually realized with the passing of time is that Dad is someone who truly does care about other people. And, very simply, other kind people sensed it and responded in like. Obviously, I came to appreciate this trait, because I married Mike, who is, well, the same type of Soul and Face.


Just Closing His Eyes

I also noticed that I was developing that Face as well. Oh, there were days when the Aura was so dark, no one would come near me. But, there were more days when the connection was made. And, while I know that a short encounter with a stranger will not shake the world as we know it, I do also know that both of us will walk away happier for having had that time.

 So, to the lovely lady I had met the next day at the car dealership, and the waiter who sat down to enjoy a cup of coffee with my friend and me this week, I’m glad we’ve met and shared a few minutes of friendship.

 It seems that you also have one of “those” faces. And, that’s good to know because the world needs a whole lot more hearts with that Face.



Get Comfy; Let's Chat!


　

Pieces of the Pie

For years, I’ve struggled with a major issue in regards to my artwork. I’ve always had problems with composition. The other day, I had the good fortune to (re)encounter a man who is a trained and accomplished artist while I was at work. He spent some time with me, evaluating some of my pieces, giving me some solid and remarkably pertinent information that addressed that exact issue (even without my mentioning that this was a known weakness).

One painting he looked at and pointed out that the image looked exactly like I was painting the subject, instead of creating an image. And he was right. And I knew that. I had actually been taught that principle decades ago. To create art, you need to break out the components: the negative space around the subject, the bits of color that lie within the general color, the shapes of parts of the subject, etc.



High Clouds
©2011 BEDeuel
9x6 Watercolor

 The whole is never just a whole.

The whole consists of so many elements of line, color, shape, shadow, movement, that to try to create anything without breaking down those elements is impossible.
While thinking about all of this, I realized how much this principle applies to so many aspects of life.

In high school, I was not even close to being a “cool” kid. I was the definitive “loser” in social circles. But that observation has come in hindsight, because, I did belong to a group of people. And it was a fun group that shared a lot of life and love. We were all different from each other, too. Some brainiacs, a lot of musicians, actors, shy kids, and just-plain-kinda-weird kids. All pieces that came together as a wonderful whole.

Even now, I can say, with pride and gratitude, that I have several true friends, who can mingle beautifully as a group. Yet, each of us has a unique bond between each other that is different from any other bond amongst us. Each friend is my best friend, because each friend completes my world in their own way. They are all equal parts of the whole which is my world.



Wild Flowers
©2011 BEDeuel
4x6 Water Soluble Pencils

Marriage is not just about love. It’s about commitment, family acquired, family spawned, paying bills, creating a home, problems and joys. Yet, there is a single, whole word, marriage, that describes all these bits of an such an important relationship.


The elements of work, home, friends and family are all parts of day-to-day living and the most difficult elements to coordinate to create a balanced whole. Often one of these parts starts to crowd out the other aspects of the whole that is one‘s life. It can take time and effort to reconstruct a well-composed picture again.

When this happens, which it does quite a lot, I want to try to remember the lesson I re-learned this week: Break out the pieces and construct your image (or life) from the pieces. If all you see is a whole, you’ll be overwhelmed and everything can become muddled.

I think it will work very well!
**************************************************************************************************************


 Hmmm....

Magical Musical Memories

Of course, I never thought my music would be the core programming on an oldies station. None of us ever do. If my music is considered an “oldie”, then that means, I might be considered-yipes! - an “oldie”, too!



Ice Fog #1
©2011 BE Deuel



I was, oddly, very saddened a couple of weeks ago when Phil Collins, icon of the 1980s music world, announced that he was retiring. Retiring! Rock stars never retire! If he’s old enough to retire, that means, well, that “old” thing could apply to me again! But he is. What I think truly makes me sad, though, is that I have some incredibly wonderful memories connected specifically to Phil and his years leading Genesis. And if he is no longer in the picture, per se, it lessens some of the happiness of those memories. At least, initially, that’s how it feels to me.

And those memories are important. I don’t know about you, but don’t you almost time-travel when you hear the songs from your youth?

The same can be said listening to Phil’s “Man on the Corner”: I can see and hear him performing that piece at the Nassau Coliseum in November, 1981. I’m there and I’m 19 in my heart and mind again. “In the Air Tonight” always conjures a vision of a ’64 Mustang and a recording of the drum riff, about 18 times consecutively, played on the installed tape player. And, my best friend from those days is right there again with me.

Ice Fog #2
©2011 BE Deuel

There are a lot of other memories attached to not only Phil, but to other random artists and songs. When I hear a certain Glenn Miller song (yes, he’s really more my parents’ memory, but we were musically without prejudice), I am transported to a then-earth-shattering first kiss at a friend’s birthday party. The truly intriguing part of this is that I can actually feel the sensations of that moment when I hear that tune. And the last “first kiss” memory can still electrify me when I hear “Thrill Me”.  Whew! Just thinking about that last song gets the current going!

Songs can bring me sad memories, too. But it’s not quite the same. It evokes sadness and, possibly, tears. I just never feel as if I’m back in the moment, though. I’m not sure why; it just is. It might be that happy memories create lightness in the soul that allows the sensations of time-travel to pour through. Sadness drags a heart down, like quicksand can.

But often those sad thoughts turn to thoughts of loved ones past. And that can be wonderful in so many ways, too.

Ice Fog #3
©2011 BE Deuel

Music can be magical. It can revive your heart, keep your thoughts tender, and, best of all, bring a bit of your youth back to you. Isn’t it great? While Phil may not produce any new works now that he’s physically retired, he will never really be gone. Just like memories. Might not remember where I left the keys an hour ago, but I will always remember-and feel- that night at the Coliseum.

Looking everywhere at no one,

He sees everything and nothing at all-

When he shouts, nobody listens;

Where he leads, no one will go.

He's a lonely man, there on the corner.

What he's waiting for, I don't know.

But he waits everyday now,

And he's just waiting for something to show.

Nobody knows him,

and nobody cares,

'Cause there's no hiding place.

There's no hiding place- for you and me.  -Phil Collins

Ah, Home of My Heart!

I rediscovered a world that I had inhabited decades before like a bear in his den in winter. It has been there all these years just waiting for the prodigal daughter to wander back to her woods. And, I did. And I was enthralled once again, just as I had been way, way, way…well, you get the idea…back.

I rediscovered the public library.

Oh, Such Joy! Let's Frolic!
Spring from the Honey Bunnies Collection Notecards

It’s not a “wow” for everyone, but it always has been for me. My mother had taught me to read before I entered school and it’s been a passion ever since.

I lost the passion for a few years as it seemed I simply didn’t have the time to read. I got into a rut of buying my books because it could take me half a year to read one; I allotted no time for this undeniable pleasure. But it became a quandary as I went along because if I didn’t care for a book, I couldn’t bring myself to give up on it: it cost me money and I was going to get the whole product! That attitude cost me even more as I got bored with the stories and almost gave up on books completely.

My mom has been an avid reader and patron of her public library system for as long as I can remember. She kept after me to just follow her lead. I was concerned, though, that I would have all sorts of late fees and wouldn’t be able to get to the library with my schedule.

It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that I drive right past our local branch 5 days a week…twice. The hours are great and renewal is simple. There went all my excuses! It was almost breath-taking stepping back into that world, into that part of my life again.

When something that’s an intricate part of who you are resurfaces after years of dormancy, there’s an actual sense of rebirth. It may not last long, nor make the rest of your life new again, but an invigorating moment like that can give you back a small amount of the joy just living can bring.

What Gifts Are Before You?
Autumn from the Honey Bunnies Collection Notecards

What do you think would give you that sense of joy? Would you be able to reopen a chapter in your life that would have a positive effect on your current life? If so, why not do it? I’ll bet your excuses would be moot if you looked at it honestly. Don’t lose the parts of your life that make you happy. Keep them active and keep your being alive!

Hey, That's My Name! IF "Dusty"



Lots of Fun with a Dusty Bottle!
Smooth Bristol Paper/Ink & Paint

The topic for this week at IF is "dusty". I'm very partial to the word.

A few years ago, I was tested for allergic triggers, because, obviously, I was having problems with reactions to almost everything. One of the conclusions was that I am allergic to a couple of the ingredients in hair dye.

This was a traumatic discovery. I had started turning gray when I was 28 and had been dying it ever since. I knew I was heavily gray under the color and dreaded letting it show. There's nothing as aging to a woman's appearance as gray hair.

With the help of a friend (who is also a masterful hair stylist), over about 2 years, the gray emerged, gracefully. I knew that it was permanent and, no matter how much I hated it, there was no realistic way of getting around it. Denial, rage, resignation, acceptance. I was grieving for my youthful-looking hair. Probably, for the youth in general, really.

About this time, I was becoming a texting fool and wanted a moniker that was me, but not ridiculous for a woman-of-a-certain-age. And, a song came to mind. It's called Dust On the Bottle. See where this is going? Here's the line that hit me:

"There might be a little dust on the bottle, but don't let it fool ya 'bout what's inside."

That was it; that was my needed, new handle. Dusty Bottle. It made gray hair fun. And a little saucy. Nothing wrong with a little saucy fun, ladies. Puts a bright twist on middle-age.

So, thank you, Illustration Friday, for the opportunity to illustrate my new nickname and to show how much fun a dusty bottle can be!



Who Am I Again?

I like to think that I’m above pop culture fads, as most people do, but I’m not. While I don’t use homepage blurbs as a primary news source, I do like to look at the fashion galleries and the self-help bits.



And the Heavens Opened & Proclaimed: You Are....

 While browsing these headlines about a month ago, I came across an article that claimed that your personality could be discerned based on which Christmas specials you like. A psychological profile in 500 words or less. So, of course, I had to peek.

It was an unnerving experience. My favorite specials are numerous, but the main two are How the Grinch Stole Christmas (animated version) and A Charlie Brown Christmas. No real surprises, right? The basic tenants of both specials, so I thought, were the celebration of the spirit, not the commercialization, of the holiday season.

Nope. Apparently, I have issues of which I was not aware.

Since I like the Grinch, I am seething with envy of all others who can live simply within suburban networks. I’m too snobbish to shop at the popular places and cannot deal with mass-produced imitations. It’s the real thing, or nothing. The only nice thing about me is that I am secretly generous with those in need and I like cats.

As for Charlie Brown, the results weren’t as awful. I am a romantic, it seems, and I live in a private world wishing for the past, refusing to grow up. I’m a mush, I admit, but I know better than to expect the world to “improve” on large scale. I know we can only improve the world one person and one place at a time. As for the past, uh, no. I am fine where I am. 

Is there anything to all of this? Part of me gets it. There’s a strain of truth in just about anything if you seek it. But are these tests telling of anything remotely true?

Years ago, I worked with a girl who informed the office that your personality was formed by which character you favored from A.A. Milne’s works about Winnie-the-Pooh. If you liked Tigger, you were an eternal optimist and probably a bit hyper. If you liked Owl, you were an intellectual. Eeyore, well, you were an "Eeyore": nothing was ever right and good in the world. Pooh represented contentedness and a simple love for life, etc.

A Winnie-the-Pooh Sight on an Eeyore Day



So, for fun, I just took 2 of the myriad of Winnie-the-Pooh personality tests available online. And the result was…

…I’m a Winnie-the-Pooh.

Oh, and an Eeyore.

Each test had a different set of questions. Even answered as honestly as possible when presented with rigid options, the results were completely divergent. So which test was more accurate? Which result was correct?

Obviously, they both were.



So I Added a Little Color to Make It a Tigger Sight!

 No one consists of one set of values and traits, preferences. No one really holds the same point-of-view from one day to the next because no one’s existence is static. No one lives the same circumstances every single day, which makes it impossible to not change.

Granted, there are a lot of people who will never admit that they’ve accepted a different perspective. Usually, and sadly, that’s for fear of appearing to have been wrong the first time. Most of us, though, welcome some or many changes throughout the years.

The moral of the story as I see it, is that one cannot be defined fully as long as one is alive. Definition comes from living. It’s a infinite work-in-progress. That’s not a bad thing at all.

Take the good, the sad, and absorb it, use it the way you see best, and enjoy all of it. Keep telling the world who you really are!