The Slippery Slope

I'm not really sure when my life became so busy.  It seems to me that before I married my (second) husband, I had enough time to work non-stop, dabble in my artwork, watch lots of movies, be an energetic lover, and still be able to get out to dinner and drinks with a friend at the last minute.  And, yet, I never considered myself to be "busy".

Now, I struggle to get any housework done.  My poor husband used to get homemade meals regularly, but, lately, he gets to scrounge through the fridge for some decent leftovers.  Or, eat hotdogs.  Again.  There aren't enough hours left by the end of the evening to get that recommended 7 hours of sleep.  And, let's not even get into romance! 

When we married, we became an American patchwork family.  He had 3 young daughters from his first marriage.  This was a new exercise in expending energy I had never had the opportunity to explore.  It wasn't just the non-stop activity that was draining;  it was largely the emotional needs for love, acceptance, and uninterrupted attention that all children seek.  It was discovering what made them happy and sad, what bored or stimulated them.  I and my husband started to learn what we needed to teach them.  I cannot say it was an easy lesson to grasp or apply.  It was not.  And it was consuming.

I let the title of "mother" take over my life, not just at home, but at work, too.  There was no energy left for anything else.

This spring, I lost a wonderful, loving friend.  It was sudden.  And she was still young.  It's a cliche, but it is cliche because it's true.  A loss like that does make you step back and look at your life, your priorities and your dreams.

The girls are mostly grown.  There have been setbacks amongst us, as well as joy in many manifestations.  They will always need me and I will always need them.  But, it's time to start heading back up the hill:  up the slippery slope, if you will.

It's time to take the lessons I've learned from my girls and apply them to my newfound desire to ply my crafts and artwork:

• While you might not always like your friends or family, or, even, your attempts at creativity, you will always love them.
• If you're committed to a relationship, be it with a lover, spouse, child, parent, friend, or with your own talents, don't let it slip away simply because time slips away.
• Listen whenever needed.  Laugh and enjoy even more.  Dance and let the energy flow when you can.  Love always.

Put yourself back up on the hilltop.  You might really like- or, perhaps, love- what you see.

Booda's Bunch I

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